i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
