it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
