Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
