My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
