Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
