Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
