No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
