i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Randomize
