i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
