i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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