We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
