i would punch a child for taco bell
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
