finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
