I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
