I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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