oh god the rape fog is back!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
