You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He passed out mid-signature
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
