I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just high enough for therapy.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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