Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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