I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
