Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
