me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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