Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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