i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
