My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
