Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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