She is in my trunk
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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