Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
