do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
