Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
