"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
