The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
