also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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