Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
