Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
