i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
