Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
