Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
