He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
