Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
