i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
