I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
