Umm I'm too high to move.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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