So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
