And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
