so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
