yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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