Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
