i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
