Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
