that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
