I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
