So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
